Dating as a widow has been extremely challenging — nothing is the same as it was before, no one really and truly seems to measure up to what I am looking for, and I’m tired of the judgement of others.
But I do have a cautionary word for those of you out there deciding to give it a whirl.
Be prepared for a weirdly excruciating heartbreak. That’s it, that’s my caution.
Here’s why the heartbreak can be so weird and excruciating: okay, so you try and date someone, thinking they are pretty great and it is cool that someone is into you (especially probably after having been with the same man/partner for so many years). It is intoxicating, heady.
Then it starts to head downhill: you begin to notice glitches in the relationship and realize that this person is really and truly not right for you, for the life you have already known and for the life you want ahead of you.
The problem is that after the breakup comes a really strange type of emotional heartbreak, almost like a grieving that just goes on and on — after all, you probably haven’t broken up with someone in decades — and your heart is still wrapped up in the grief for your life partner.
I am not saying you shouldn’t try dating — and definitely go ahead and enjoy those wonderful early times — perhaps your situation will work out — mine didn’t. So just be a little prepared, as I wasn’t, for a weird and painful breakup . . . and now where does that leave you/me?